If you read my testimony you know that I struggled in my late teens with some health problems. One of those was a disease called endometriosis. I remember waking up during the night with excruciating pain and crying out for help. My parents gathered me up and rushed me to the emergency room. Soon after I was admitted to the hospital for exploratory surgery. God put a Christian doctor in my life that week. One that was very knowledgeable about this disease. He came out of surgery and told my parents that I had one of the worst cases of endometriosis he had ever seen. He then prayed with my parents about the news he had given them. After I came home, my parents came to me with news that broke their hearts. They told me I would not have children and that I would need a complete hysterectomy by the time I was 18 years old. Little to their knowledge, God had already told me this news. He also promised me I would be a mother of many. If not my own children; children around the world. You would think that knowing God’s promise, I would have trusted Him, and clung to Him. Instead, I put on an act for those around me. I kept telling them that I was fine. The truth is I had a void that would not go away. This void caused me to become angry and further from God. This is not a great place to be. It can be lonely and dark. When you push God away from you, sin builds up and makes you calloused. It wasn’t until the end of my freshman year of college that I became desperate for God. I finally surrendered to God and all that He is and asked for His forgiveness. I realized that God was all I needed and that He had to become my Adonai. From that point in my life, my relationship with God became real and strong. As I began to seek Him first, I learned to be content in all that God had in store for me. He had a plan that was good for me, and He did not want to harm me. God knew me more than anyone and He knew my deepest desires. Some of those desires were to marry a God fearing man and to have children. One passage in the bible I clung to was the story of a barren woman named Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. Through Hannah’s faith and obedience, God gave her Samuel, and in keeping her promise, she dedicated him to God. In 2003, I married the love of my life, Waylon. Two years after Waylon and I had been married, we were blessed with our first child. Doctors tried to tell us we would lose our baby, but defying all odds, God created a miracle in me. Not only one miracle but Waylon and I were blessed with two more children. I asked for only one son; God gave us three. And just like Hannah dedicated her son Samuel to God, Waylon and I have done the same. God has many promises for His children if we learn to seek Him first and put all our hope in Him.
Matthew 6: 33, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.
Lamentations 3:22-23, “The faithful love of the Lord never ends. His mercies are new every morning. The Lord is good to those who depend on Him, to those who search for Him.”
Dear Adonai,
Thank you for being there for me even if I built walls around my heart. You never stopped loving me. You spoke life into my soul and renewed a light that had dimmed from the anger I allowed in. Through it all, you still blessed me. Thank you for blessing me with a loving husband, and three wonderful sons. Amen.